Last Friday I had the coolest experience yet. Mama Johns (my teaching academy teacher, who is also like my best friend :) teaches a class called AVID. It is all about helping freshman get into college. She will have these kids all four years of high school and will continue to guide them. Its all about motivation and doing well, goals and so on. I really love the concept of the class, and it is the most perfect class for Mrs. Johns to teach. Well, Mrs. Johns was gone on Friday, so together we planned to have me speak. God was really with me that Friday morning and it was so awesome to see how He worked in me.
I woke up all frazzled that morning.. because well I was nervous. Normally, teaching is easy for me. I don't get nervous often, and I just enjoy myself more than anything. However, this class I was going to be instructing wasn't just some random lesson, I was going to talk about my life. It's really never been easy for me to talk about my suicide attempts in front of people.. but I took a risk, and man did God catch me.
After I got ready for school, dealt with the ice that would not go away on my car, had someone make me copies, and figured out the computer situation.. I was feeling better. I read the sub plans and I just took off. I felt so comfortable with these kids. I had known a few just by chance, or from a few other classes I've been apart of, but the majority of them were strangers and for once, that did not bother me! I kept praying to my self so that I would trust God with what I said, how I said it, and how I guided these kids for 55 minutes of their day. God provided me with all that, plus a heart that just exploded for these kids!
We watched the video's we were supposed to.. and I began talking about my life. I told them about my bad attendance, how I was into all kinds of bad things, and how by the time 10th grade came around, I had attempted suicide 3 times. Their faces changed when I told them that. I bet it was surprising to know that this girl who was a senior, and who was trusted enough to teach a class was once into drugs and tryed killing her self. Heck it surprises me. I never even thought I would make it this far in life. but I did. and that's what maters most. God's grace shows it's self in my life yet again.
The rest of the class went great. I felt so in control and like the kids were actually understanding what we were talking about. They reacted well to me, and God guided me in how I acted as a teacher, student, and mentor to these kids. They all have a story just like I do, maybe that is why I felt so comfortable, or maybe God is telling me teaching is your calling, with Me by your side, you can do anything! Either way, I felt happy and accomplished.
The best part was spending an hour on the phone talking to Mama Johns and telling her all about the class! I have never met a women who I could so easily talk to, confide in, shoot idea's back and forth with, plan with, work with or who inspires me quite like Mrs. Mikki Johns does. If it weren't for her... I think I would have given up and ended back up at square one again this year. However she is thankfully a daily part of my life as a teacher and friend, and she will continue to be for as long as I can help it.
Dear Lord,
I thank You so much for giving me the words to share with my students on Friday. I am so grateful that You have my back. Lord I pray that I can always stay strong in You, because I know You will never forsake me, and WILL always help guide me. Lord, I pray for Mrs. Johns and her wonderful family Lord. I pray that You wrap them in Your light and just love them to pieces, like I do. I pray that Mrs. Johns and I will always remain close as friends and that she will always be there to teach me more. I pray that I will always be able to confide in her and her in me. Lord I pray that we will both be able to stay strong in you, and intern be close with each other. I thank You so much for putting a women in my life that is close in my heart and in location, since my Mom is so far away. Lord I am truly blessed by what You do in my life, and am so grateful. I could sing Your praises forever. Lord, help me walk in Your will for me, and not my own. I Love You Lord.
In Jesus name I pray,
Amen.
